I grew up in a catholic family. My father came from a catholic family and my mother from a protestant family. She converted to marry him. In terms of practice it was Mom who led the way. Dad didn't attend church on a regular basis and I am hard pressed to remember any time he was in church other than a wedding, funeral or holy day (mostly xmas and easter).

  I went to a catholic grade school for grades 1 - 8. I prepared for 1st communion by studying the catechism and by making my first confession. I remember feeling "cleansed" after confession but to tell the truth, I think I made up some of my "sins" because I didn't really have anything to confess. Communion went well, I got some presents and there was a little party with goodies to eat.

  From grade 2 to 5 I was very into being catholic. I worried that my protestant friends were going to hell and even baptized at least one of them. I had read some place that you could do an emergency baptism on a non catholic....and I saw this as an emergency. I was an altar boy and, according to the nun sponsor, I was an outstanding one. I remember thinking during this period of my life that being a priest would be an ideal way to live my life. I even played mass with my sister, I was always the priest and she was the altar boy. In real life she could be neither but I must have granted her dispensation.

  When puberty hit I became interested in sex and girls and knew I would never be able to become a priest. I drifted away from my religious ways from that point on and attended mass less frequently, finding any excuse to miss and at times lying to my mom about having attended. I really, really hated confession. I was not willing to tell someone my sins so whenever I had to go (we had confession days at school) I would lie....I still believed in god and the church so I felt even more guilty about that. When I got in high school (public) I just stopped going to confession.

  When I got in college I had debates with people in the dorm about religion, I had major doubts and often debated with catholics about the church or the divinity of Jesus or even the existence of god.

  I got engaged in 1968 and we decided to be married in the catholic church. I was very confused at this point and decided a) I didn't want to offend the family and b) I might change my mind and it would be better to be married in the church in case I did.

  About this time the pope issued an encyclical condemning contraception. This concerned me very greatly. We did not want children right away and we didn't agree with the pope's encyclical. My wife went on the pill and we were happy with our decision. I didn't attend church at all during this period.

  After 2 years we decided to start a family. My wife went off the pill and we conceived almost immediately. Our daughter was born 2 years and 10 months after our wedding. Our next dilemma was baptism for our daughter. I was not involved in the church and very confused about religious matters. I decided again to a) not offend the family and b) go ahead with the baptism in case I changed my mind in the future. She was baptized 2 months after her birth....not the normal 2 weeks.

  Over the years I was not involved at all with the church. I studied other religions and read about various beliefs and non beliefs. I don't know exactly when it became clear to me but I know I came to the conclusion that the god of the bible and christianity were implausible and probably not true. I was in my 50s before I was able to say I was agnostic to others and in my 60 before I became comfortable with the term "agnostic atheist".