I was always "too smart for my own good." My unquenchable thirst for knowledge and truth often led me to derision and disappointment from others at church and school, but up until about 6th grade I was still a faithful believer in Christ. I was raised in a Presbyterian church and then went to a Seventh Day Adventist school.

  My true doubts and confusion began when I entered adolescence. A friend from school introduced me to pornography and I was soon thereafter caught viewing it by my father. That experience led to me feeling first guilty and then angry at God and religion in general. I then became an atheist.

  My return to the gospel came, perhaps unsurprisingly, from that same original search for truth. Several years ago I began exploring my psyche and mental condition. I remember reading an article about people with superstitions, such as throwing salt over your shoulder in order to ward off bad luck. The article explained that a recent study had revealed that doing so actually does increase one's happiness by reducing stress and worry.

  A discussion about this story with my psychiatrist, along with some friends sharing their experiences of prayer with me, led me to begin to pray again. I wasn't praying to any Christian deity, but to a concept I labeled "Enthalpy," similar to the literal meaning of the term. This unlocked something that had been dormant in me for a long time: not only did I begin to notice that my requests and thanks were having a positive effect on my life, I also felt as if I was tapping in to something much greater than just a purely mental ritual would provide.

  One evening last November, I came across a few online videos by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which intrigued me to research a bit about the Church. The next day I discussed what I had learned with some of my friends. To my surprise, my friend Mike revealed to me that he is an inactive member of the Church. I asked him what he thought of the Church and he said that it was a good organization which is very family-centered. He also shared a verse from the Book of Mormon with me: By their fruits ye shall know them.

  I received additional guidance over the next few days. One day I was walking down the street when two missionaries rode by me on their bicycles. I smiled at them and they smiled and waved back. Another day I met with Mikes parents, both of which are active members of the Church. They both turned out to be kind and goodhearted people as well. They ended up inviting me to visit them the following Sunday for the morning service at their church.

  I decided to take them up on their offer and I was almost immediately glad that I did. Although I was nervous and anxious to be exposed directly to so much that I didn't understand, I felt a true sense of peace, joy and community at the Sacrament service. One of the things I took particular note of was that I was welcomed by everyone I talked to. They really made me feel that I could belong there if I wanted to. I was encouraged to ask questions and provide insight and feedback to the topic at hand, and all of my questions were answered to the best of everyones ability. My inquisitiveness was being rewarded, instead of being met with dismissal!

  I also met two missionaries that day, to whom I gave my phone number.

  About ten weeks prior to that day, I had begun to quit smoking cigarettes. I used nicotine patches to help me quit. Nicotine patches are an effective stop-smoking aid because they provide the user with a steady low dose of nicotine throughout the day, which allows one to effectively break the habit of smoking cigarettes without having to experience withdrawal symptoms right away. However, if one wishes to be truly free of nicotine they must stop using the patches eventually. At that point, the user will experience nicotine craving and withdrawals.

  That evening, I decided to stop using the patch. At the time it seemed like an arbitrary decision, but I now realize that I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so. After four or five hours, I began to feel withdrawal symptoms, along with severe anxiety and an impending sense of doom. I was sweating profusely and my whole being craved a cigarette. I was desperate and did not know where to turn for relief. I decided to pray to Enthalpy for help, but doing so provided me with no relief. At that point I thought to myself, Well, I checked out that Mormon thing today; I guess I could try praying to Jesus. I asked the Savior to take away those bad feelings and to help me make it through. What happened next was a physical manifestation to me of Jesus Christs existence and power.

  A wave of well-being washed through me, beginning in my head and moving down to my feet. My erratic, anxious thoughts ceased and were replaced with peace and thoughts of hope. I stopped sweating. By what I now know to be the divine power of the Saviors atonement, all of my withdrawal symptoms ceased and I no longer craved nicotine. To this day, I have not since smoked, nor have I had the urge to smoke. The desire for nicotine and my addiction to it were truly lifted and taken away through the power of the Lord.

  That experience and others over the coming weeks confirmed to me over and over of the gospel's truth and application to me personally. I got baptized at the end of December and have been a member since then.

  My experience as a new Mormon in the church has been overwhelmingly positive. Of course, everyone is human, and I have had troubling encounters, struggles, and questions. The wonderful differences from before, though are these: First, my negative experiences with others have all led to personal, social, and spiritual growth, aided by God and the members themselves. In other organizations and circles, I've never encountered the same type or level of care and respect as that in the Church. And secondly, as mentioned above, I have continually been encouraged and helped in my quest for real truth. In my early-life Christian experiences, I often felt like it was wrong to ask questions, to think critically, or to probe deeply into the mind of God and the divine. In my current Christian experience, these things are lauded and encouraged.

  I don't think that the vast difference between then and now is due only to me being in a different church and environment, nor due I believe it to have arisen purely because of my own mental changes. I know that it's a combination of both, along with the help of my Heavenly Father and the fact that I had to experience the things I did during that in-between time in order to build the foundation for a deep and wonderful faith as a Saint of the Lord.