Hello there stranger, I'm simply here to share my experience and here it goes: At the age of 9 I was indoctrinated into Sunni Islam, perfect for picking at the age with a maluable knowledge base. I honestly was a full blown Muslim for quite some time, reasons being: Morals, Family pressure, sense of belonging etc. But I had always lingered these 'irrational' thoughts that always yearned for a rationalization to their inexplicable and contradicting nature; nature that was bound by my orthodox mind at the time. But rationality had prevailed within my mind, I had taken into consideration a wide variety of mainstream religions... Christianity, no... Hinduism, no... then rather reluctantly my brain switched to the scorned end of the religion spectrum, Atheism... But it never really made much sense, in that it blatantly denied a deity where there was no proof to it's non-existence. Reading into theoretical physics and other sciences concerning debatable ideas such as the Big bang theory (which with all the proof, is quite factual...) in the late end of year 7, my lingering doubts as to the aspect of theism were quite prevalent and were in an endless conflict with the driving force of familial pressure. Further investigating the sciences etc. I came across a variety of Scientific youtube channels, one of which was Vsauce whom introduced an invaluable doctrine into my molding brain; Solopsism. In brief, it is the belief that the world around you; society, the Universe and general life, were merely rendered by your brain and remained a dorment existence within your Nexus of neurons. You are merely your five senses and consciousness, your interactions and the interactions of others are governed by your brain. Which to this day, I still see as an undeniable doctrine and to belabour otherwise would be ridiculous and unjustified. Of course, such a doctrine would never suit me and relating back to a quote I heard "I am a realist because it's just easier" (sorry for not sourcing that <-) My mind was still unsettled by the whole topic of religion. Until, at the age of 13, an idea had come to fruition, the idea that anything is possible and cannot be proven wrong. Who is to say you aren't dreaming right now and are soon to be awoken to a disfigured martian family? Who is to deny the possibility of Solopsism being factual reality? the answer being... blind, pious and unreasonable people who cannot see past their early convictions. Early into the 8th year of schooling I was concrete on the doctrine of Agnosticism, tilting more towards Agnostic Theism at the time though (due to the fact that I harboured a belief that one must have some sort of faith in an unrecognizable deity) Agnostic Theism was my doctrine because of my logistics behind how one can determine the criteria behind a 'god'; what attributes belonged to god. Of course a conforming blithering mainstream conformer would state something along the lines of 'He wears a white robe and is all seeing etc.' but really, why predefine the attributes of such an indefinite idea? God could simply be, the colour blue, or a piece of chocolate for all I care, the idea simply cannot conform to attributes bestowed by mainstream religions. Therefore it's rendered to a mere, abyss of unknown. Something that has no predefinitions, and can therefore not be restricted as to likelihood of certain attributal aspects. Your brain can be somewhat defined as god, a cryogenic container can to some degree bear the title of God if we take the scenario that you are in a deep sleep state and the cause is a cryogenic container which led you to materialize the world around you via your perceptions. Well anyways that is basically my reasoning behind my slight preference with Agnostic Theism over plain Agnosticism. I am currently aged 15 and am writing this to indulge my overwhelming large philosophical and introspecting consciousness. I hope that I have given you insight as to theism and atheism, and I wish you luck with your endeavours. Thank you if you have read to this stage and I also decree that one should always regress back on their past convictions and challenge it with their knowledge; both Ontological and definitive religious studies. Thank you